You Get What You

Monday morning energy. The studio had tech issues. The show got chopped up. But the message? Crystal clear.

I woke up at 3:00 AM yesterday—wide awake—because a thought hit me like a brick. The kind of thought you don’t roll over and ignore, because you know if you fall back asleep it’s gone.

That’s why I’m telling you right now: keep a notebook by your bed. Some of your best ideas show up when your guard is down.

Here’s what landed on me:

People’s perception of your expectations is directly related to what you tolerate

Read that again.

Because this is the truth most people don’t want to face:

You don’t get what you say you want. You get what you allow.

In business. In relationships. With your kids. With your employees. With your clients.

And especially… with yourself.

If you’re tolerating something you swear you don’t want, then (whether you like it or not) you’re voting for it.

“Everything’s fine” is usually just a bad belief system

Some people will read this and go, “Lew, my life is great. Everything’s wonderful.”

BS.

And yes—today BS stands for belief system.

Because “everything’s fine” is often a cover for:

• The relationship you keep making excuses for
• The job you complain about but won’t change
• The financial stress you’ve normalized
• The disrespect you laugh off
• The habits you keep “starting next week”

So let me ask you straight:

What are you tolerating that you swear you don’t want?

Not what you say you don’t want.

What are you actually tolerating?

Because here’s the scary part:

People don’t respond to your words. They respond to your standards

You can say “I expect respect” all day long.

But if you tolerate disrespect, you’re training people to disrespect you.

Your tolerance is your true policy.

Not your motivational quote.

Not your Instagram post.

Not your “new me” declaration.

Your boundaries aren’t what you post on Instagram

They’re what you enforce on Tuesday.

That’s where it gets real.

Why do people push the line?

Because they’re human.

Humans test fences.

If the fence is weak, they lean.

If it falls, they walk right in.

Not always because they’re evil—sometimes because they’re curious, careless, or just used to getting away with it.

And every time you let it slide, you teach them:

• “This is okay.”
• “I’ll complain, but I won’t act.”
• “My words don’t mean anything.”

That’s not being nice.

That’s being unclear.

Real-life examples (so you can’t talk your way out of it)

In business

A client pays late.

You keep delivering anyway.

You just taught them: late is acceptable.

They move the goalpost.

You keep adjusting.

You just taught them: your time doesn’t matter.

In relationships

Someone jokes at your expense.

Once? Fine.

All the time? In public? Trying to keep you small?

If you laugh it off every time, you just taught them: disrespect is entertainment.

With yourself (the big one)

You say:

• “I’m going to work out.”
• “I’m going to eat clean.”
• “I’m going to stop procrastinating.”

Then you tolerate your own excuses.

And your brain learns:

“Cool. You don’t mean what you say.”

The standard you don’t enforce becomes the standard you live with.

How to command what you expect: a 4-step framework

This is where we stop talking and start taking action.

1) Decide your standards

Not preferences.

Standards.

Write down three things you will no longer tolerate.

Examples:

• Late payments
• Disrespectful tone
• People wasting your time
• Drama you didn’t create
• Your own procrastination

2) Communicate clearly (not angrily, not apologetically)

Try these scripts:

• “Just so we’re clear, this is how I operate.”
• “I’m not available for that.”
• “If this happens again, here’s what will happen next.”

Clarity is kindness.

3) Set consequences you will actually enforce

Because here’s the rule:

A boundary without a consequence is just a suggestion.

Examples:

• Late payment = late fee
• Still late = work pauses until caught up
• Disrespect on a call = call ends
• Repeated disrespect = blocked access

With yourself:

• Remove temptations (don’t keep the junk in the house)
• Add accountability (checklist, tracking, partner)
• Schedule the treat (not daily—intentionally)

4) Enforce consistently

This is where most people fold.

The first time feels uncomfortable.

The second time feels powerful.

By the third time, one of two things happens:

1. People respect you.
2. People remove themselves.

Either way, you win.

When you raise your standards, you’ll lose some people—and gain your life back

Let’s be honest: not everyone will like the new you.

But when you stop negotiating with yourself, something shifts.

You start respecting yourself.

And then—funny how this works—more people start respecting you too.

Because your standards are the price of admission.

Your challenge (do this today)

Name one thing you’re tolerating that you don’t want.

Then write:

1. The new standard
2. The consequence
3. The first action you’ll take this week to enforce it

Do it once this week.

Better: do it once a day.

Because you’re not here to play small.

You’re here to break through.

Final reminder

People’s perception of your expectations is directly related to what you tolerate.

You get what you allow.

So stop training people to disrespect your life, your time, and your goals.

And most importantly…

Stop negotiating with yourself.

Live with faith, energy, passion—and always live your dream.

Want more tools like this? Catch the replays and live shows at Lew.live and explore courses and coaching at CoachLew.com and XLR8Life.com.

My friends this is not always going to be an easy journey but I can’t stress enough that you get one life, this is not a rehearsal for the next go round!  Live you life today like it matters because it does and it is the only one you get! 

With that all said make sure to watch the video, take action today, get some coaching and step up to the life you desire and deserve!

Live with faith, energy, passion and always live your dreams!

-Coach Lew 

Founder XLR8Life University and CoachLew.com